Last Post

This is the last post; this blog is done.

We hit the peak a long time ago, and it's been a steady decline ever since. As of now, I have no desire to keep writing and very few ideas.

So I just thought I'd officially close it down, as there's no reason for you to keep checking back if I'm not going to keep writing.

Thanks for reading.

Memorial Day Weekend - Eating

I went to visit my friend Tim in South Carolina over the long weekend. This was my sixth time to visit him: three times while he lived near Indianapolis and now three times in South Carolina. Of those trips, I've seen two Indy 500's, one Brickyard 400, and this would be my third Coca-Cola 600.

Well, it rained all weekend, and that ruined the racing. So there's no real need to discuss the particulars of the NASCAR drivers' inability to drive around in circles in the rain. I might as well discuss some of the fine foods I had over the weekend. Please keep in mind, this is not a comprehensive list, just the highlights:

Friday (DFW Airport)

• KFC chicken tenders - pretty good, but as soon as I sat down, I noticed the Auntie Anne's pretzel dog, and I seriously considered getting one of those as well.

Saturday (downtown Charlotte):

• 1 polish sausage sandwich - excellent
• 1 deep-fried twinkie - I've always wanted to have one. But it was quite disappointing. I just don't see the point of having fried dough surround something that is already so obviously perfect. And what made this even more disappointing is that right after I finished this and couldn't possibly eat anymore, we saw a couple of guys walk by eating chocolate-covered frozen cheesecake on a stick. That looked like one of the best desserts ever, and I didn't get any.

Sunday (Lowe's Motor Speedway):

• 1 giant turkey leg - pretty good. I've always wanted one of these as well. It wasn't anything special, but I'm glad I had it.
• 1 Dove bar - I really needed some ice cream

Monday (Lowe's Motor Speedway)

• 2 slices of Domino's pizza - you just can't go wrong with this choice

That's really about it. I suppose it could have been worse. However, on my flight home, I started feeling sick, and now I have a sore throat and a cold. So what's that old saying: "Feed a fever, starve a cold." Or is it: "Feed a cold, starve a fever." Or maybe it's "Feed a cold, feed a fever." Either way, I was supposed to be on a diet and exercising once I got home. But now that I'm oh so slightly under the weather, I feel I should continue eating so as to improve both my physical and mental health.

Laundry Mishaps

We usually do laundry on the weekend, every two weeks. However, because I was going to be gone over the Memorial Day weekend, and because Kristin would have people over, I told her that I'd do half of it (the first two loads) on Wednesday (a week ago today), and the other two loads on Thursday. Well, things did not go exactly according to plan.

On my first night of solo laundry, I washed and then dried a sweater of Kristin's that she did not want dried. I shrunk it. She had worn it only once, and it was ruined by my poor laundering skills.

On the second night of laundry, I had to wash the sheets. Well, all the sheets wouldn't fit into one machine, so I divvied them up. That meant I had to get some other stuff into each of the two machines. And since most of what I had left were Kristin's jeans , I threw a few pairs of jeans into each machine. Well, one of the jeans was brand new, and it made our bed sheets a very light blue.

So, two nights of laundry, two large mistakes. I think the lesson here is that I'm an idiot and that I cannot be trusted with simple household chores.

Also, there are two final points to make:

• The blue-ness of the sheets isn't really a big deal, because a) no one ever sees them, and b) even when you do see them, the blue-ness is only really visible in the right light and in comparison to the pillow cases, which luckily made their way into the other washing machine.
  
• The offending pair of jeans which caused this blue-ness was Kristin's brand new pair from the Blue Jeans Bar, which she got because she got a gift certificate after winning her NCAA tournament pool. So this is another example of financial karma, which I talked about many many posts ago.

Kristin's Reign of Terror

Last night, we went out to the local bar to celebrate the birthday of one of Kristin's co-workers. We went to Ma'Kai, in Santa Monica, right next to the pier. It's a cool place. We had a few drinks. However, the plan was that a bunch of people would be heading three doors down near the end of the night to Joe's Pizza, which is a Santa Monica institution. Kristin has never let me have Joe's.

Anyway, last night, it was needed, desperately. It was late; I had had a couple drinks; and I was starving. The thought of a greasy, pepperoni-laden slice (or two) of pizza was something I could not get out of mind. Unfortunately, as we left, Kristin made me walk right past it, in agony.

I would have disobeyed her orders to forego the pizza, but I would have gotten the stare of death as well as some comment, like "Really?" or "You do what you have to do" in some completely disappointed and nasty tone.

I guess I need to send Kristin out of town before I can finally go to Joe's Pizza. If any of Kristin's friends want to invite her to go visit them sometime soon, please go ahead.

Banana Republic Strikes Back

A couple months ago, I wrote about Kristin's gambling habit. I made some defamatory remarks about Banana Republic, basically being no better than a casino feeding an addiction. Well, Banana Republic has bested me yet again. They invited Kristin to an "exclusive" party for being a deluxe card member. Basically, because she spends too much money there, they tricked her into believing that she was invited to some exclusive party, where she could spend even more money. So on Thursday, she attended this party, where they had a DJ, free wine and appetizers, and everything was 40% off. She came home with a bunch of stuff.

I told her that she wasted a lot of money; she claimed that she had gotten so many good deals.

Softball Season Ends

Kristin is tired of the softball stories. So in its place is a vast amount of nothingness.

Condo Negotiations Revisited

We did not win our auction to buy the condo on 6th street in Santa Monica. We found this out on Friday. So with our down-payment just burning a hole in our pocket, we went out for a nice dinner. It was good.

Negotiating Tactics

Kristin and I have been considering buying a home in Santa Monica. We've been looking at condos for the last few months and have recently gotten serious. So we made an offer on one condo. It's a short sale, and that always take a lot of time to get a response. Well, last night, we finally heard back, and the banks decided to counter.

Their counter was to ask us to submit our best and final offer. I guess the issue is that there are four other bidders. So even though we offered the full asking price, we're now involved in an auction. Unfortunately, I know only one negotiating tactic, and it doesn't work well in an auction environment. That tactic is "the walk away": you get the other side emotionally involved, but you remain unmotivated. Then, when everyone seems close to a deal, you threaten to "just walk away," just as Kelly Clarkson mentioned in her song. Unfortunately, we're competing against four other bidders, so that's not likely to work here. It looks like we'll raise our offer price by $6k, and that's it. Either we win, or we lose.

Negotiating is not fun when you're flying blind as we are, but that's all we can do right now.

Stuff That's Going On

As you can tell, blogging has been slow as of late. I've run out of ideas and motivation. I still have plenty of time to be blogging, I've just had nothing to say. This weekend, someone mentioned to me that I've probably come to realize that my life is just as boring as everyone else's. No, that's exactly the wrong conclusion, since I've always known that my life is boring. It's just that I managed to spruce things up in the blog through various rants that have no real meaning or importance. Anyway, I'd had thoughts about letting the blog die out, but I thought I'd give it another go and try to keep this thing alive for a while longer, and then reassess at some point in the future.

So let's discuss some issues in the Pagano household:

Softball: Since I haven't written lately, I will update you and let you know that last week, we lost another 1-run game, to fall to 3-5 on the season. Last night, therefore, was our ninth game, and it was our finest performance. We won 20-5, invoking the "slaughter" rule. I myself played well (and it's so amazing how you can actually hit the ball when you keep your eyes on it), although all that matters is that the team got a "W." We're now 4-5 with an outside shot at the playoffs. And if we make it in, we're a force to be reckoned with! Whether we make the playoffs or not, the summer season starts soon. And since our team is starting to bond and really come together, we're probably going to dominate then. To commemorate this, the team will be renamed from the Pasadena Steamers to some new name, something that's dirty and can't be mentioned here.

Formula 1: This is the best sport ever. I will not even bother to debate this. My current ranking of sports goes something like this: 1. Formula 1; 2(T) College Football; 2(T) NFL Football; 4. MMA fighting; and that's it. Baseball is too boring, except for the post-season. Basketball is poorly officiated (maybe even rigged), so there's no point in watching such a sport where the officials can't make up their minds about what's a foul or not a foul, and what's travelling. Anyway, this has led Kristin to mock me as the worst sports fan ever. I disagree, and tell her that she should just go watch Gossip Girl or something while I have my alone time watching "cars going around in circles." In the end, it's all very therapeutic for me.

Running: I'm in training for a half-marathon, and I'm up to 10-mile runs. My lovely wife refuses to join me. Again, she thinks my activity is lame and boring.

Cinco de Mayo: We were supposed to go to a Cinco de Mayo party on Uno de Mayo, but a certain cousin of Kristin let us down. You know who you are. You better make it up by bringing your A-game next time.

TV: What the heck is going on in "Lost"? And "Jon & Kate Plus 8" ended a few weeks ago. Although check this out. And now we're watching "The Biggest Loser." Of course, I think their measuring system is bogus. They take percentage of total weight lost to determine who's doing the best. They should be taking percentage of excess weight lost. The results are skewed (favoring the ones who start most out of shape), and I'm considering writing a strongly-worded letter to the producers.

Babies: None.

Kristin: Still rocking out on the Guitar Hero.

That's it for now. I'll try to keep writing. Thanks for reading.

VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight was a great night of softball. We won! It was quite exciting. But I'll get to the details of it in a bit. I would have been blogging earlier, to provide you the highest quality blog-ertainment. But Kristin stole the computer from me, and messed around on Facebook for 10 minutes or so while I sat there and waited. So not only will she not put forth the effort to blog, but now she is actively blocking my blogging.

Anyway, tonight's game started like just about all the others. We fell behind early, and we found ourselves in a big hole. And as for me, in the first four innings, I was 0 for 3 with a strikeout, with two of my at-bats ending the inning. So clearly, things were going bad, and particularly so for me.

But then came the fifth inning. The Pasadena Steamers (that's us) staged a monumental rally, pushing 17 runs across the plate, going from 11 down to 6 up. And the most sensational part was my VERY ordinary hit in the middle of the inning. With one out, I had two strikes on me and was just about ready to strike out or ground out for a fourth time in the game, but a teammate yelled out some inspirational words of wisdom (very much like Yogi Berra or some other baseball philosopher), and it put me in the right frame of mind to knock an easy single into right-center field. I don't know if it's possible to even overstate this, but it was miraculous!

In the top of the sixth inning, the other team only scored three runs, so we ended up with a solid win. And as for me, I was thinking about retiring in shame (since my batting performance had been so bad), but now I can almost retire in glory (since I've now doubled my hit total for the season).

That's it for now. But with a win next week, we can keep our playoff hopes alive. I'll let you know how it goes, unless I have four strike-outs next week, which is very possible, in which case I won't.

Easter

Today, we went over to my aunt's house for Easter. Because it was going to be warm, I wore shorts. The particular pair of shorts I chose were a bit loose around my waist but not too loose that I would need a belt. But then I figured that I'd be dealing with certain hooligans while at my aunt's house - my cousins Domenic and Patrick - and that one of them might try to pants me at some point. So I decided that I'd wear a belt. Sure enough, Patrick tried to pants me (only 10 minutes or so after our arrival) . Disaster avoided due to a little forethought.

Then, at little later, I checked Facebook on my phone. Apparently, I had received a friend request from Christopher Pagano, in Indiana. I don't know this Christopher Pagano. I have nothing in common with him. So as much as it intrigues me that he wants to be my Facebook friend, and as much as I need more friends so as to catch up to Kristin (who always has 10 to 20 more friends than I do), I'm going to have to ignore his friend request.

Finally, a Festivus-style "Feats of Strength" has been in the works with my cousin Steven for quite some time. Over Christmas, he was supposed to do 100 push-ups in 5 minutes, for $100. He claimed at the time that he couldn't do it because he hadn't had time to train because he had been sick leading up to that day. Well, today, he has ready to go. Since he had had extra time to train, I offered him only $20 if he could do 100 in 5 minutes. We went out to the front yard, and he made a go of it. After 25 seconds, he had completed the first 20. By the end of the first minute, he was done with 40. I was starting to get worried that I might lose. Then it took him a minute to do the next 20. At this point, he had 3 minutes to do 40 more. Well, the next 10 push-ups took him quite a bit of time, and the next 10 even more, and the next 10 even more. With 30 seconds left, he had 10 to go. He made a valiant try, but most of his final push-ups didn't meet the technical requirements of a push-up, such that most were excluded. And as time ran out, our official counter (cousin Patrick) had him at 93. So close, yet so far! Sorry Steven, good luck next time. However, the major question is what should be the next event for the Feats of Strength. I'm thinking of making him run a 10k in under 50 minutes next Christmas. I think that would be fair. Any other suggestions?

A Vicious Pine Cone?

We spent a lovely day at the bar, watching Michigan St. beat UConn, helping Kristin clinch a win in her office's NCAA college basketball tournament bracket. We then watched a little of the Carolina-Villanova game. But when we realized it was going to be a blowout, we took off. We walked back to my car, got in, and closed the doors. And then the back window shattered.

The result was this:

So the moral of the story is that bird crap isn't the only thing you have to worry about when you park under trees. Also, if anyone is to be blamed, it's probably Obama.

One Cookie

Yesterday, I made chocolate chip cookies after dinner (M&M cookies, to be precise). It was really one of my lesser performances in making cookies. The result was the following cookie (singular):


Well, I realize that this wasn't one of my better performances. However, from it sprang an opportunity. Normally, when there are cookies, Kristin tries to limit me to one cookie per day (knowing that I'll eat four anyway). But with this cookie, I can eat the whole thing and still technically fall within her regulations.

Victory acheived through an unexpected loophole!

Follow-Up Items

Connect 4: Having played upwards of 1000 games starting in January, I finally quit a few weeks ago. It was quite a drain on my time.

Softball: Nothing good to report. We are 1-1 in our last two games, but my hitting prowess is regressing. It's quite embarrassing. I'd consider quitting for the sake of the team, but I don't want to be a quitter.

Wrist Fat: I am now convinced that this is more real than ever. I've really picked up the pace and the distance in my running, and I can feel that I've lost a bunch of weight. I've even gone down one belt size. But when I went to weigh myself yesterday, I had lost only two pounds since early January. So it's pretty evident at this point that all the weight from my waist is going straight to my wrist. Who would have thought?

Additional Items:
The Formula 1 racing season is on! Feel free to come over at 2am this weekend to watch GP of Malaysia.

Wrist Fat

Over the holidays, I gained a bit of weight. During the time from Thanksgiving all the way through the Super Bowl, my eating habits were quite prolific.

Anyway, since that time, I've dialed back on the calories just a bit, and picked up the pace and increased the distances in my running. And the results have been positive. I can see that I've definitely lost some weight; I've even moved to the next hole on my belt.

However, as my waistline has shrunk a little, a disturbing development has occurred almost simultaneously. Last week, my watch became very uncomfortable on my wrist. It was suddenly way too tight.

Basically, my wrist had gotten fat. Is it even possible to get fat in the wrist? Will friends and family now start claiming that it looks like I've packed on some pounds in the wrist area?

Kristin's "Gambling Habit"

I have a friend. Let's call him "Matt." Matt has a slight addiction to gambling, and thus Las Vegas. Whenever Matt is in a casino, it's not possible for him to walk from A to B without first stopping at every other blackjack table, roulette wheel, etc. Along the way, he can potentially lose hundreds of dollars. Because Matt is so prolific in Vegas, the casinos "invite" him back with complimentary rooms. Matt takes advantage of Vegas' invitation and then proceeds to lose more money while gambling. It's not something I could do, but at least he's having fun, and that's what counts.

I also have a wife. Let's call her Kristin. Kristin has a slight addiction to shopping. There are certain stores (Banana Republic, to name the biggest offender) at which she shops so much that they like to invite her back, through coupons, discounts, etc. It seems she's going back every week to take advantage of "so many great deals." And unfortunately, it never ends. Just when she thinks she has everything she needs, she finds something new on the rack. And even though she doesn't need it (and I might even argue that she doesn't even want it, considering the number of times she will eventually wear it), she has to buy it, because it's such a great deal.

So I guess my question is whether there is much difference in the way casinos and retailers operate. They lure you in by promising something for free (a free hotel room, or 35% off your next purchase), only to have you spend money on something that is of little or no value to you. Anyway, these are just my thoughts. Everyone has their own little addictions, I guess.

"Lost" - **Spoiler Alert**

This week, it seems a new episode of Lost will not air. So I just thought I'd recap the last episode and make my prediction for the outcome of the show.

In last week's episode (March 4), the island finally stopped traveling in time, and so did the survivors (Sawyer, Jin, Julliete, etc). Apparently, when this happened, they were stuck in 1974. Sawyer and the gang ended up joining the Dharma Initiative, which was in full effect at that time. At the end of the episode, Jin found Jack, Kate, Hurley, Sun, and whoever else had finally come back to the island. It was a reunion three years in the making.

So here's my prediction. Since they will all be part of the Dharma Initiative, I think they are all going to die at the hands of the Ben Linus and the rest of "the others." (We already know that Ben Linus and the others killed off the Dharma Initiative.) In fact, this is the only ending that would satisfy me. I'm really tired of happy endings, and I want to see the bad guy win just once.

Victory On The Diamond

Yesterday, our team eked out a miraculous come-from-behind victory in the last inning. In a low-scoring game, we gave up 8 runs in the bottom half of the second-to-last inning, to go from up by 1 to down by 7. However, in the top half of the last inning, we scored 10 runs in an amazing rally. And in the bottom half of the inning, we held the other team scoreless.

It was unexpected. It was miraculous. It was beautiful.

As for my contribution, I reached base 2 out of 4 plate appearances, lowering my on-base percentage to .600. And I went 1 for 4, with a hit that just squeaked into the outfield. So I am now batting a pathetic .125. (I'm still looking for a batting cage to go to.)

But we did win, and that is what's most important. Of course, right now, I'm really sore. I really shouldn't be running the bases like that. I'm going to hurt myself fairly soon, and it's going to be quite embarrassing (or impressive, depending on your perspective).

Car Accident

Yesterday, Kristin drove my car to work. On her way out of the parking lot, a guy driving a pick-up truck hit her head-on. At the time, the guy was messing around on his cell phone and not paying attention, while Kristin was completely stopped. Based on what Kristin said last night, my guess is that the guy was going about 2 mph. When she got home, Kristin was not happy at all. She felt bad, and mad. And the front license plate on my car was barely hanging on. Beyond that, though, there wasn't much damage. We'll take it to the body shop this weekend and see what they have to say.

So I guess this is a slight stroke of bad luck. Oh well, what can you do?

However, there are two things to mention regarding this situation:

• My car has now been in two accidents at an average speed of -1 mph. In the first one, I hit the corner of a wall while backing up. That one cost me about $650 to fix. Hopefully, this one will cost less.
• Since Kristin is feeling bad about this, I wonder if I can parlay this into a piece of cheesecake this weekend (I'm kind of burned out from carrot cake right now). Probably not, because she doesn't feel THAT bad.

Well, I guess this is a lose-lose for me.

Three Posts In One

Lots to discuss today. I've got three major items, and I'll start with the least important first.

Softball: Yesterday, our team lost for the second straight game. We are now 0-2. However, there was something to be gained from this outing. We were down 19-3 in the bottom of the fifth, when we staged a rally. We scored 11 runs in that inning to bring the score to 19-14. We gave up two runs in the top of the sixth to fall behind 21-14. And in the bottom of the sixth, we scored six runs, to lose by only one. We could have won the game. We had been down by two with no outs, but our rally faltered. So sad. On a personal note, I reached base all four times I stepped up to the plate. I had two walks (I've been told it's bad form to take pitches in a softball game, so I'll have to re-evaluate for next week), and reached base two other times on infield errors. At least I made contact (although it wasn't all that solid). I also scored three times and had an RBI. So it was a definite improvement on last week. My cumulative batting average is 0.0000 (0-4), but my on-base percentage is now a stellar .667 (4-6).

Blogging: It seems my cousin Pam Sciarra has started her own blog. Apparently, I was her inspiration. (The fact that I am inspiring anyone to do anything is alarming.) This blog will have a link to hers as soon as authorized.

New People: And much more important than the previous two items, Ava Lyn Freiburg was born yesterday morning after something like 26 hours of labor. Congratulations to John and Cheryl! In my humble opinion, Ava looks just like her grandmother, Lynda Cabigas. Good luck to Ava in navigating this crazy world.

Anyway, that's it for now. I hope you're all doing well.

Softball

On Saturday, Kristin and I met up for dinner with Kristin's brother Garrett and cousin Pat. During the dinner, Pat mentioned that he was part of a softball team and said they could use a couple extra players for the team. So I emailed him on Monday, and he said to show up on Tuesday night at the field near the Rose Bowl.

I was totally excited, for many reasons. I've never been in a softball league. (I've also never been in a bowling league either, and so I need to join one of those as well.) It would be really fun to play/compete. I might get some exercise. I might even meet some cool people. Most importantly, it would be the opportunity to end my 0 for 35 batting streak (going back to T-ball, circa 1987). Also, for Kristin's sake, it would be my chance to get some practice in before having kids, so that if we have a son someday, I would not be the worst person in the world to teach him how to throw/catch/hit a baseball. (My brother and sister-in-law are currently going through deliberations as to whether I should be allowed sports time with my nephew.)

Anyway, back to the point. Yesterday was the first game of the league. During lunch, I went to Big 5 and got some cleats. I showed up at the field, and we played the game. I won't discuss the final outcome of the game, since that's not important to the story. But for me, I went 0 for 2 with two strikeouts. I struck out twice on four pitches total (each at-bat starts with 1 ball and 1 strike). On each pitch, I swung and missed (badly).

So the moral of the story is this: I am now trying to end an 0 for 37 streak. Very embarrassing!

Also, can anyone recommend a good batting cage in the Santa Monica area? I need to get my timing down.

Nothing Going On

I've had nothing to discuss lately because there's not much going on here in Pagano-land. Sports are in a dry spell (football is over, and I refuse to acknowledge the existence of basketball). Nothing else exciting is happening with us. Just working, eating, sleeping, and sometimes even exercising.

That's all I've got for now.

Connect Four and Other Stuff

Connect Four was a game I enjoyed greatly as a kid. So when I noticed an application for my iPhone called Four Free (the free version of Connect Four), I downloaded it. This was just over six weeks ago, on January 3.

I spent a little time playing the computer on easy. Then I moved up to medium. Then I moved up to hard. Then, I decided that my goal was to be able to win twice as many games as the computer. But at this point, I was already 15-20 wins behind such an accomplishment. I didn't think it would be too tough, so I kept playing and kept playing and kept playing, and I was obsessed.

By the end of January, Kristin was getting upset with me. By now, I was upwards of 40 straight wins behind my goal. So clearly, I wasn't even going in the right direction. But I told her I would quit, and so I erased the history.

Then, a few days later, out of boredom, I picked it up again. This time, my goal was to win twice the amount of games as the computer, plus 40 on top of that, to make up for my previous shortfall. I kept playing more and more. On occasion, I'd get hot and go on a run, and cut my deficit to 20, but then I'd go on a short losing streak, and have all my progress wiped out.

Well, this weekend, I finally did it. I made a run to cut the deficit back down to 30 and picked up some much needed confidence. Then I got it back down to 20, only to lose some ground. And then finally, I went on a phenomenal streak, and achieved my goal! At that moment, I was so very proud of myself. Of course, I had probably played 900 games or so in total, so that's nothing to be proud of. But I have now put the game down for good, or at least until I get bored again.

In other news, Kristin and I took a trip up to San Francisco this weekend. Our plan was to see the city and friends. I would post pictures here, but Kristin didn't bring the camera. (So much for NEEDING a new 10-megapixel camera.)

I did take this picture of the Marina Lounge:
This was my favorite bar when I lived up there. It was very small, open by 9am on Sundays, and patronized only by uncool people like me. And it was great!

Scared To Death

Holy Crap!

I just read the most disturbing thing I've seen in a long time. Please re-read my last post, and then read Cheryl's (Kristin's best friend) comment about the need for Kristin and I to have a daughter so that our daughter and Cheryl & John's daughter could grow up together and be BFFs (that's "Best Friends Forever" for all you people over 40) and go shopping together.

I'm not necessarily sure what caused this, but this freaked me out! (Possibly because I'm drunk on a Friday night after 1.25 Jack & Cokes while sitting at home waiting for Kristin to come home from work so we can go out to dinner.) I mean, we're not quite ready to have kids. But the very notion that we would have a daughter who would grow up to be Cheryl/John's daughter's best friend, and that they would feed off each other in their shopping habits, well I can only say WOW! That just blows my mind!

To put this in perspective, Kristin is a very smart, rational, and reasonable person. Her biggest weakness is her motivation to shop (although she would say that's her greatest strength). Cheryl is similar.

But when they get together, you can throw all that reasonableness out the window, and what you would call a small weakness (in isolation) becomes a death spiral to one's life savings. I mean, if we had a daughter as our first child and she became BFF with Cheryl's daughter, not only would they shop together, but they would probably want to help plan each others' weddings, and that would get completely out of hand. I don't have that kind of money, and I don't plan on it either.

I don't know what to do. Right now, I'm freaked out. I guess it's good that I started drinking. I better keep drinking. By the time I finish this drink, I'll probably be passed out (I get my tolerance for alcohol from my mother), and that will be a good thing.

Playing Catch

Yesterday, Kristin noticed how long my hair is. (It's really not that long, but it's a little longer than usual. I would have gotten it cut a couple weeks ago, but we had a trip to Utah coming up, and so I didn't want my head to get too cold because my hair was too short. Seriously, I'm not joking.) Anyway, Kristin also noticed that my grays hairs were becoming more prominent (as is always the case when my hair gets longer). She made some comment that I was getting old and that when we had kids (TBD) I would be too old to even play catch with them. This is ridiculous. First of all, I will not be too old if we don't have kids until I'm 35 or whatever the age is. But second, if I can't play catch with my kids, it'll because I have no athletic ability whatsoever.

Notes From The Weekend

So this last week, Kristin and I went skiing in Utah with the Nunnellys. This is the fourth time we've gone, and it's usually a good trip. I say "usually" because of past events (i.e. a dislocated knee cap two years ago). Anyway, we flew out on Wednesday night.

On Thursday, Randy & Garrett went skiing, while I stayed in while Kristin had some work that needed to be done.

On Friday, we braved the cold and hit the slopes. Because of my awesome note-taking ability, I was able to remember the proper techniques and weight distribution. I quickly go up to speed and comfortable. I had a great day of skiing. We then had lunch, had a few more runs, and called it a day.

Saturday, however, was totally different. All that confidence and skill I had built up disappeared immediately. I simply didn't have it. Suddenly, turning right became an impossible challenge. We skied in the morning. At lunch, I called it a day. I got off the mountain in one piece. Later, as I was taking off my boots, I noticed that the clamps on the boots had come undone. I wonder if this is what caused my crappiness to be exacerbated that day. Oh well, I shouldn't blame my equipment.

In other Utah ski trip news, we had a nice discussion about how curse words are not allowed in the Nunnelly household. Then, in that same discussion, a number of curse words were thrown out there all willy-nilly. Let's just say that I now have five get-out-of-jail-free cards, which I can use in their presence at my discretion. I can't wait to throw out a few four-letter words the next time I see Carol and Randy. I'm really looking forward to it.

Also, never play games with the Nunnellys. They're all cheaters, especially Garrett and Carol. They can't be trusted to play a fair and honest game. If you do decide to ever play any game with them, be ready to cheat yourself or you'll be at a decided disadvantage.

Finally, we got home just in time for the Super Bowl. I was rooting hard for the Cardinals, as they were the underdog, and I don't much care for the Steelers. Anyway, as I mentioned before, I took a rooting interest in 9 of the previous 10 NFL playoff games this year. In all 9, I lost. So in a totally winnable game, and with the Cardinals ahead (miraculously) with only 3 minutes to go, they blew it. I'm not going to take responsibility for their loss, but maybe things might have been different had I rooted for the Steelers. Anyway, I went 0 for 10 this year. In some of those games, I took the favorite. In some, I took the underdog. Therefore, on average, I had a 50% chance of success in every game. Using those percentages, the odds of going 0 for 10 are about 1 in a 1000 (.5 ^ 10 = 0.098%). I really do stink at picking winners in football. Unfortunately, as football is now over, you won't be able to put my anti-talent to work for all your gambling needs.

Ski trip - cursing not allowed in the Nunnelly household except when
they decide to curse, I am now allowed five  curse words; cheating
during apples to apples; poor skiing on day 2;
Odds of going winless in NFL playoffs - 1/1000

Going Skiing

Tomorrow, Kristin and I (and the rest of the Nunnellys) are flying to Utah to go skiing. We will be there until Sunday, arriving home just as the Super Bowl starts. (A big shout-out to Randy for realizing that our flight home was during the Super Bowl and making the appropriate changes to our flight schedule.)

Anyway, as we'll be out of town over the next few days, I shall not be posting. What I shall be doing is getting scared to death with each run down the mountain. To ensure that I don't fall too much or hurt myself, I wrote out some notes last year to help me remember weight distribution as well as other necessary techniques. Just so you know how screwed I am, I thought I'd post them for your viewing.

Traversing the Mountain:

• Weight on downhill ski
• Lean forward in boots

Turning:

• Move weight to uphill ski (outside)
• Lean forward on uphill ski
• Push toes down on uphill ski
• Start turn
• Turn hips
• Start turning downhill ski
• Lean downhill ski toward turn
• Bring outside hand around fully
• Outside hand (not downhill hand) should be lower than uphill hand
• Look up, not down toward skis

Other:

• Don't look down the mountain
• Look at where I want to go

First, I will be studying these on the plane ride to Utah. And second, someone who has to actually think through this many things is in a bad spot. If you can spare a thought of pity for me, please do so.

Thanks.

Philippe's

Today, I met up with a friend to discuss business. We met up at Philippe's, in downtown LA, right across the street from Union Station. I had a french dip, some macaroni salad, and chocolate cream pie. It was excellent.

If you have never been to Philippe's, shame on you!

If you have but don't like it, that is not comprehensible, and you should reevaluate your priorities, principles, and tastes in this world!

Bride Wars (Spoiler Alert)

Kristin is a very responsible and reasonable human being (except when it comes to shopping, in which case all reason and logic get thrown out the window). Her friend Cheryl is also a very reasonable person (also except when it comes to shopping).

However, when they get together, they start feeding off each other, and all you can do is hold on for your life. One aspect of their relationship where things got out of hand was in the planning of both their weddings. These are two women who spent a lot of time growing up and in their early adult years dreaming about their respective special days. So when the new movie Bride Wars came out, it was only natural that Kristin and Cheryl get together to watch. Now, just to be clear, this is not a documentary based loosely on Kristin/Cheryl's planning of their weddings, although it could probably pass for it. More precisely, it's a crappy romantic comedy based on two best friends who end of having their weddings on the same day in the same place and fighting each other over it.

So Kristin and Cheryl set up a time/place to meet to watch the movie, for some much-needed "bonding time." And of course, the husbands got dragged along. We met at the Century City mall. Anyway, before discussing the movie, a few notes about the Century City mall.

• First, this is the most technologically-advanced parking lot, with censors above each parking spot, and there's a light which tells you if the spot is open or taken. Therefore, you can see all the way down a row without driving down that row. Amazing!
• The mall is east of the 405. Kristin and I do not travel east of the 405 on weekends for much. Cheryl and John should consider themselves lucky.
• A vendor was selling shamwows. Click here to learn more, as it's truly an amazing invention. It holds 20 times its weight in liquid. And it's made in Germany, because the Germans always make good stuff.

Anyway, on to the movie. It's all right and funny in parts. However, the plot has a few BIG holes in it:

• First, Emma and her fiance decide in the final scene (after their wedding has begun) that they aren't right for each other anymore. Prior to this, the plot BARELY alluded to this, so this scene felt like a big stretch.
• Second, the wedding planner (Marion St. Clare, played brilliantly by Candice Bergen, formerly of "Murphy Brown," who bore a child out of wedlock in the show, which was viewed unfavorably by then Vice President Dan Quayle, who couldn't spell the plural of the word "potato") originally booked Emma and Liv to weddings during the first and last week of June at the Plaza, respectively. Through some mix-up (her admin screwed up), Emma and Liv end up having both their weddings booked on the same date in June. This is a major screw-up! Am I really to believe that a wedding planner, whose only asset is her reputation and good name, wouldn't fix this? Really?!?! Personally, who would use this wedding planner after something like this happened? No one would. Therefore, the rest of the movie from that point forward (something like 20 minutes in) isn't worth watching because it's not at all believable.
• Also, I'm not happy that matinee tickets are $10 a piece. It's a recession, and I think AMC Theater management had better get its act together and lower prices.

Happy Birthday...

To our silent yet effective co-blogger.

Even though her words of wisdom have not been read on this blog, she is an insightful and intelligent and inspirational figure!

Anyway, my beautiful wife turns a very young [censored] years old today. She is celebrating by going to dinner with the writer of this great blog.

Losing Our Way

So maybe you've noticed, or maybe you haven't, but posts have been few and far between lately. I'm not sure what it is exactly - whether I've lost my motivation or just simply run out of ideas - but something has definitely changed of late. So where do we go from here? It's definitely time to start looking inward.

Obviously, the goal was to build readership before child #1 (TBD) arrives. But it's a lot of effort to keep you reading for that long, and I'm just a big nerd who's been writing about carrot cake and microsoft excel.

Maybe it's time for a sabbatical. I don't know; I just don't know. But I'll let you know when I figure it out.

Anyway, if you don't hear from me before the Super Bowl, I'm rooting for the Cardinals. So you might as well go ahead and bet it all on the Steelers. (Again, beware of the jinx, reverse jinx, and double-reverse jinx.)

NFL Gambling

Use at your own risk:

Over the last two weekends, there have been 8 NFL playoff games. In 7 of them, I took a rooting interest (I didn't have time to watch the Viking vs. Eagles). In all 7 of them, I have lost. Therefore, if you feel the need to bet this weekend, pick the Cardinals and the Steelers, because I will be rooting for the Eagles and the Ravens.

Of course, by writing this, I may be reverse-jinxing myself. But just so you know, as a little bit of history, a few years ago, I went 0-11 in NFL playoff picks. So I am historically bad.

Important Changes in the Pagano Household

(No, we're not having kids yet.)

Last Friday, Kristin got promoted to Brand Manager at Activision. It seems all her efforts to play the drums have paid off. Anyway, it's been obvious for a long time that she was doing really well there and that everyone liked her. (It's a good thing I have her under a lifetime contract.) So with "talent planning" coming to a conclusion, management decided to reward her for her efforts.

With such a move, it has become entirely evident to me that things should change in our household as well. I think you would all agree that Kristin is the big winner in our family, and that I should just pack it in, quit my job, and let her be the breadwinner. Seriously, how could I disagree with such a notion? When the children arrive (TBD), I will be volunteering my services to stay home with them.

I mean, this isn't just a good move for us; it's a good move for women everywhere, as she helps Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton and Condi break through that glass ceiling.

A Pair of Jeans

Yesterday marked the end of the 2008 college football season. As per our bet, and with Texas less than 8 spots behind USC (although they did indeed finish behind), Kristin can go buy herself a pair of jeans. While it may seem that I have actually lost the bet, the end result is that this should have zero net effect on Kristin's total jeans collection, and thus zero monetary effect. Here's why:

Whenever Kristin goes out and buys an article of clothing, it is always because she "needs" it. Never has she bought something merely because she simply wants it. So with her buying this pair of jeans (which she may or may not need), her future need for jeans should decrease by one pair. (I should have probably drawn some supply and demand curves here for your reference.)

Therefore, while in the short-term there may be an extra pair of jeans and a related cost, in the long-term this shall have no net effect on Kristin's jeans collection or our finances. Therefore, while I may have technically lost the bet, I really lose nothing, unless of course she's been lying to me all along about her "need" for clothes.

On TV Tonight

Today, Monday, January 5, is a HUGE day for TV. There are six hours of quality television conveniently wrapped into three programs.

• The Tostitos Fiesta Bowl: First, stick it to the corporate sponsor by opening up a bag of Doritos or Fritos or Cheetos during the game. Second, go to the other TV, so that you are not watching it with a UT alum. You'll avoid not only the play-by-play commentary but also the complaints about being left out of the BCS championship game.
• Gossip Girl: This show sucks, and it is beneath the dignity of this blog to speak positively about it. I mean, Kristin loves it, and will be watching it intently, and will be saying every other commercial break "XOXO, Gossip Girl." But that doesn't mean that this show isn't one big pile of ....
  
• John & Kate Plus Eight: In the upcoming season, it seems the big event is that the Gosselins move to a bigger house. While that may be the issue promoted in all their commercials, they should be highlighting what's going on with the children. (The twins Mady and Cara are now eight years old, while the sextuplets will be five in May.) Anyway, the big issue, I think, is what's going to happen with the sextuplet boys. I think it's glaringly obvious that both Joel and Collin are punks, and it's only a matter of time before they start picking on Aaden. I can only hope it starts this season, so they can show Kate flying off the handle and going crazy and yelling at everyone.

New Tag Line

I just want to take this opportunity to thank new loyal reader Travis Hockersmith for providing our new tag line (see above). Aside from being The Best Blog Ever, we are now Inspirational Yet Alarmingly Useless. I believe that sums up perfectly the point of this blog.